Wednesday, 2 October 2013

I.A.N Chapter #5 - The Plan, by Jack

Hey folks sorry it's a bit late!I'm sure you all understand (except apparently Liam ... =P)

Jacks mind raced with vile sickening imagery and he felt his stomach violently contort as it tried to expel it's last meal, but he had to control himself and look strong for Princess Hazelwada who was now openly weeping. 
"princess" he said placing a hand on her shoulder "these robot bastards will pay." he turned to Liam "fuck the robot dude." Liam stepped backwards.
"no way! you know the meat machine doesn't work on anything non human … or non female!" Liam said a glimmer of fear entering his eyes
"friend, you have to, it's for the Princess." Liam froze in place, he looked at the weeping princess. Maybe if he fucked Lionel she would fall in love with him and then he could let the meat machine free. He slowly reached up and undid his belt.
Princess Hazelwada quickly stood and raised her hands to her eyes, she stifled the tears and turned to the two companions. "For fucks sake what is wrong with you two?" she asked "I don't want you to fuck Lionel to death. Quite frankly I don't want EITHER of you fucking anything!" both mens faces fell at this, Jacks with a distinctly robotic whirr. "Look Lionel is the one chance we have of breaking into the overlords lair. If we can get in there we might be able to shut the bastard down and save what little is left of humanity." Jack scuffed his feet on the ground.
"I still think Liam should murder fuck the robot." he muttered, Hazelwada shook her head in exasperation.
"Lionel come with me I think it's time we showed these gentleman the plan, they might be as thick as two planks but they seem to be able to fight … averagely well, except for the dying part." Lionel nodded and gestured towards a door.
"Gentlemen if you will come with me I will show you to the armoury." Liam immediately perked up at this, having lost his favourite weapon in the robotic melee.
Lionel and Hazelwada led them out into a long corridor, exposed pipes and wires ran across the ceiling occasionally dripping water or puffing out a small jet of steam. The four of them walked along in relative silence, Jack thinking about his death and Liam thinking about fucking shit up with some sort of spade with two knife attached to it. Eventually they reached a door resembling an old sci fi air-lock. As they walked up t it the doors opened with a hiss and the contents of the room were revealed. "Holy fucking shit." Jack said running his eyes over the racks of weapons.
"This robot apocalypse is growng on me." Liam replied childish excitement flooding through him.
The room before them was stocked to the brim with the finest weapons either of them had ever seen, racks of assault rifles, pistols, shot guns, sub machine guns, LMG's and even a couple of rocket launchers chucked in for good measure. But all this pales in comparison to the device in the centre of the room. "DIBS ON THE NUKE!" Jack yelled running over and running his hands along it.
"uncool dude" Liam yelled "you know i love the concept of nuclear warfare."
"Would you two stop!" Hazelwada said in a tone that dripped with exasperation "that nuke is the weapon thats going to blow the overlord to robot hell." Jack turned to face Hazelwada, he kept one hand behind his back still caressing the nuclear warhead.
"This overlord you keep talking about. Who is he?"
"it's not a case of who" she replied "it's a case of what. Intelligent Assault Node, or as we affectionately called it when we created it … I.A.N"
"Oh for fucks sake" Jack said reluctantly removing his hand from the nuke.
"Let me guess, the only way to stop this robot overlord is to blow him to hell with this here nuclear thingamy bob?" Liam asked lifting an assault rifle from one of the racks and looking down the sites, skillfully hiding the fact that he had never shot a gun in his life from the princess by flicking some switches and closing one eye.
Hazelwada looked away, not meeting eithers gaze "not exactly" she muttered "we need something a little more ... dramatic."

So thats my chapter done! Now back over to Liam with this starting sentence:

"and what pray tell is more dramatic than a mushrrom cloud of death and destruction?" asked Jack

Liams post will probably be up quite quickly after this one and mine will be just over a week after that to piss Liam off!

CIAO,
Jack (also now posting from my account!!!)

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