I. A. N. Chapter #1 - The Arrival, by Jack

Hey It's Jack here posting the first chapter of I.A.N!

Chapter 1: Arrival.

The sun rose with expected inevitability, splashing its harsh light across a deserted town. Its rays crept along the Main Street revealing signs of the previous nights events. A scratch along a door, the broken shards of a bottle, ashen remnants from one fire or another, a hand detached from its owners body. As the light spread ever out wards it caught the shoes of two lone figures on the very edge of the devastation. "Fuck me" Jack said staring at the carnage before them.

"Yeah" Liam responded, after taking a dramatic sip from his mostly melted slush puppy. "Pretty positive we've got ourselves a good old fashioned zombie outbreak"

Jack pushed his glasses up on his nose and glared across at his friend. "What possible evidence do you have that is telling you that this was caused by zombies?" He asked, "If it was zombies we'd be seeing some of the undead bastards wandering around and there'd be a hell of a lot more corpses. No this is obviously some sort of culty, ritual sacrifice kind of thing."

Liam took one final sip and threw the cup and it's last few dregs down onto the floor. "Whatever. Grab the tools, lets go fuck up some Z's."

Jack shook his head in despair before heading over to the small hatchback they had driven out here. The car was a hideous shade of vomit yellow but it had been the only cheap car they could purchase after they had mistakenly blown up their last car in an attempt to kill a poltergeist (which had actually turned out to be a Neolithic era god). He popped open the boot and ran his eyes over the array of 'tools' they had built up during the years they had been working together "Which one do you want?" He asked picking up a broom with a knife strapped to each end.

"I'll have the Bitch-o-tron 3000, if you don't mind"

Jack pulled out a fire axe that Liam had attempted to spray paint flames onto. "How many times do I have to ask you before you stop calling it that?" He handed the axe to his friend and then looked towards the nearest house  "Right, lets find out where these arse hole cultists have set up shop." He said with a grin. Liam took the bitch-o-tron and raised it up over his head before bringing it crashing down on to the door, it immediately cracked and with a kick Liam sent it crashing into the wall. A cloud of dust and ash swirled into the air and clouded the two men’s vision. “Well what do you know!” Said Liam as the cloud of particles slowly cleared “we were both wrong, its frickin robots!” The three humanoid figures huddled in the centre of the room had turned to face them and one flashed it's glowing red eyes.

“What do we have here?” It said, it's voice sounding like a cheap auto-tuner. It rose and the light spilling in through the door revealed its mechanical body in all it's glory “get them!” It loudly beeped/said and it’s two comrades immediately turned and prepared to leap.

So there it is! The start to what we're both hoping will be an epic tale of adventure. Liams starting sentence for his chapter is:

'Liam Hefted The Bitch-o-tron and turned to Jack. "Let's do this."'

catch you all on the flip side! Good luck Liam!

Jack (not liam)